So many regrets.1. "I miss you" to an ex.
Unless your life is really a rom-com and you are secretly Kate Hudson, there is no way this will end well. You two broke up for a reason — lots of them. Damn it! Why do relationships always look so much better through rosé-tinted glasses? The best thing you can hope for is that he doesn't text you back and you never see him again and can just pretend this whole thing never happened. Wait, why haven't you gotten a response? What the fuck??!!

2. "Wanna come over?" — you know, for the sex.
Being faced might help you shed your inhibitions, but it makes you terrible in bed. Assuming the person actually comes over, your only hope is that he is as wasted as you are so the two of you can ride this delusional fantasy train together until one or the both of you passes out. Otherwise you’ll be the only one making drooly, eyes-half-open kissy faces and breaking out into random fits of laughter during sex, and that’s not the sort of thing you want to be doing on your own.

3. "I love you" to the person you’re dating.
It’s fine if you’ve been together for a long time — sweet, even. Not so much when you’re just starting out and you haven’t even said it in person yet. What if he says it back? What if he doesn't???!!!

4. "Cassie is the worst" to Cassie. 
You meant to send it to Sara, but you were thinking about Cassie, so you must have searched her name instead of Sara’s. Ugh! When will you learn not to shit-text when drunk? The drunk brain can’t possibly keep all those names and people straight. Not all two of them!

5. "What are you up to?" at 3 a.m to anyone you've never actually been up with at 3 a.m.
I’ll tell you what they’re up to. Sleeping. Or judging you. Or sleeping, then judging you. Or drinking themselves, then sleeping, then judging you. See where I’m going with this?  



6. “Let’s go to brunch tomorrow!”
Assuming you don’t have the bandwidth to actually pick a time and place, this isn’t really so bad, but if you do? Oh jeez. There’s really nothing worse than waking up hungover to find five missed calls and a string of unread text messages ending with “I’ve been here for 30 minutes, and you’re not picking up your phone so I guess you’re not coming.” Invitations of any kind are a bad idea. At least it was just brunch you invited her to and not your intimate family-only wedding. Oh! Nope! Look at that. Just before all the brunch talk. “You should come to my wedding! Bring whoever!” I guess now your wedding will be you, your fiancé, your families, and “Carol with the blonde hair” from your spin class.

7. “My life sucks. I’m so depressed. I should just quit my job and move back home.”
Send it to a friend and you’re looking at an awkward morning wake-up call to make sure you’re OK. (Of course you’re OK. You’re not even sure what set you off.) Send it to your parents and you could be waking up to your dad banging on your door and a U-Haul parked in front of your house.   

8. “Let’s move in together!”
Too soon! TOO SOON! Besides, he’s got terrible taste in furniture! That black leather couch! Who does he think he is? There’s no way you are sharing a living space with that overstuffed monstrosity.

9. “We should take a break.”
You were just frustrated! You didn’t mean it. Well, you did, sort of, but it’s more complicated than that. This is really not helping your hangover.

10. “I have something to tell you.”
Are you Catholic? Is this your priest you’re texting? Oy! Confessing always seems like such a good idea when you’re too plastered to see past the next 10 minutes. Why couldn’t you just keep your big mouth shut? Why? Why??!!



BONUS: Selfies of any kind.  
No one looks good with sweaty bangs and glazed-over, half-opened eyes. At least your clothes are on. Oh! Nope! That’s a nipple. Oh god, it's not just one pic. It’s a series. Deep breath. Calm down. It’s nothing your nana hasn’t seen before. Serves you right for showing her how to use a cell phone!

- This is copywrite to Cosmopolitan Article and not mine but I thought this may be useful! 

xx Brooke
  

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or the others crazy"